Mike Simeone
Host, Producer, Star & the ULTIMATE
Professional
Personal Bio
Click here for his professional brief
Born on Date: May 1, 1969 Greenville, TX. Way back... used to
have a sign at the city limits that read something to the effect of “The Whitest
City in America” Not one of the more stellar moments in Greenville’s history.
The Master Plan:
0 yrs., born a rich black girl. In 1976, (for the bicentennial) I asked
my parents to make me a white boy, ‘cause I wanted the leading role in Annie.
7 yrs., took acting and singing classes ...10 years of it! ... when upon
asking my parents if I could take ballet lessons, they pulled me out of acting
class stating that all actors end up being gay or drug addicts......details.
11 yrs., Won city award for best square dance team.
15 yrs., started my working and sexual career, both at Mc Donald’s. I
was lovin’ it!
17 yrs., bought and played marimba in school orchestra. Thats
right mo-fo, I own my own marimba.
17 yrs., worked at a craft store, where the manager made a sexual bribe
towards me.
17 yrs 1 day, quit working at the craft store.
17 ¾ yrs., managed a roller rink for a number of years, only hiring
people I thought were good looking.
18 yrs., learned how to read music so I could actually play the five
thousand dollar marimba I purchased.
19 yrs., graduated high school from a mental hospital. (great food
though)
21 yrs., went to a couple of colleges, finally graduating with a degree.
21 yrs., managed a Spencer’s Gifts for a couple of years, where I did
nasty things to myself behind the posters while people shopped. Some select
items ended up in the damaged bin due to “unexplained stains and odors”.
23 yrs., decided being an alcoholic would be trendy and fun
25 yrs., stopped being an alcoholic.
26 yrs., missed being an alcoholic
26 yrs. ten minutes, decided I hadn’t quite finished my career as an
alcoholic ... so I downed a couple of Pink Ladies (the ones with the
pretty umbrellas).
26 yrs., started career in entertainment
27 yrs., retired from being an alcoholic early upon realizing there was
no pension plan offered by Bartles or James.
28 yrs., worked on a really cool TV show.
29 yrs., got kicked in nuts at said TV show.
29 yrs.1 month, got kicked in nuts again.
29 yrs.1 month,14 minutes, Got ice pack for said nuts and quit.
30 yrs. Auditioned for the reality show "The Amazing Race"
first known as "Lost"
31 yrs., became a foster parent (most rewarding job ever)
35 yrs. faked an engagement and became a sloppy Texas hick and
auditioned for "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy".....still waiting for my call
back.
36 yrs.-present, continuing my career in TV, film and radio. Desperately
looking for any excuse to move far, far away.
For More Information Contact:
The Mike Hawk Show
The World Wide Web & Beyond!
Tel: 817-658-5399
FAX:
Internet:
mike@themikehawkshow.com
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