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Dave

The New Guy

Hello America, just call me Dave. I was born in Houston, TX in Sept. of 1960. Between then and now I grew up a fat kid, got picked on a lot, learned to pick back, and grew large. At nearly 375lbs., by age 16 I had issues, lots and lots of issues. Want to know what they were ??? Sorry, you'll have to wait for the book.

I graduated from a private Baptist high school in '79 and went to a small Baptist college in northeast Texas, majoring in pastoral studies. Gotcha thinking now kiddies. After two years of matriculation at this fine institution, I left. College had become too much like work. I am, after all, lazy. So, suitcase in hand I embarked on my new career, drinking. Man, did I make the right choice there. Finally, something I was good at and could go with me anywhere I went. During the next 10 years I honed my skills to razor sharpness. I also got married ( unsuccessfully ) had a daughter ( better fortune there ) nearly died, and had to finally quit the one job I thought I was good at. Wonderful ain't so wonderful after you been there a while.

So commenced my 17 year tour of beautiful central Louisiana where I enjoyed a fruitful career in the mental health industry ( fitting ain't it ) helped raise my daughter, and plotted my return. I also finished college, a B.S. in Political Science/Ancient Civilizations.

So now I'm back to fulfill my destiny, achieve my birthright...Fame, Fortune, Women!!!! And to see my new grandsons grow-up ( betcha saw that one comin', or not ) and to pound your ears with truth, justice and more political incorrectness than your delicate ears can handle.

Dave is..